Plateau

So, I have come to the realization that I have reached the much dreaded plateau.  My weight loss has utterly stalled and, in fact, keeps creeping up inch by inch.  However, I am remaining optimistic that my new weight loss plan will work.  I just really have to remain dilligent and focused and not give up, lose motivation, or become content with maintaining.  My body is becoming used to the workouts that I am doing and has gained quite a substantial amount of muscle mass.  Therefore, it really is imperative that I step up my workout intensity.  I will continue to do my 4am workouts in the morning consisting of my exercise DVDs, however, must add some high intensity cardio in the evenings such as elliptical, jogging, biking, etc.  Tomorrow, I am doing a circuit training DVD in the morning as well a plyometrics DVD in the afternoon with my girlfriends.  If I focus and work out hard, this will shock and surprise my system and help kick start my metabolism.  From here on out, I am brining work out clothes in my car to work with me each day so I can stop at the gym before coming home and squeeze in an extra half hour to 45 minute burst of cardio.  In addition, even though I feel like my body is becoming used to the caloric intake I've been consuming and may potentially be in "starvation mode," therefore clinging to extra fat cells, etc., I feel as though if I remain strong and push through with the amping up of my work out regimes, I will continue to lose and see results.  I am going to throw my body a curve ball by allowing myself to veer off of my diet one day a week.  This will drastically increase my caloric intake for the day, then I will fast the following day, and then continue forth with the 2-33 calorie a day rule five days out of the seven day week.  Therefore, my body will still have some roller coaster spins calorie wise.  Also, I must make it a point to get more rest.  My weight loss has slowed because I am retaining stress and anxiety and not getting enough rest.  I purchased Tylenol PM today which will help ensure I get 7-8 hours of sleep nightly.  Also, I fear my recent intake of apples.  I think they are far too many calories, grams of sugar, and carbohydrates.  I am going to try to avoid them or eat only small ones from here on out.  I must also up my protein intake.  Therefore, tomorrow I will have a low sodium rice cake with sugar free jam and tea for breakfast, some low fat turkey deli meat with mushrooms and mustard for lunch, pack some salmon/tuna with fat free cottage cheese or peas or squash.  Therefore, I will start eating mainly vegetables and protein (fish, chicken, low fat deli meats) and my only carbs will come from popcorn, low sodium cakes, and low carb lavash wraps (plus the veggies).  I'm ditching the apples/fruit and my only dairy source after my yogurt is gone will come from fat free cottage cheese.  This has to work!!!

New Rules

I've been trying to fall asleep for the past four hours.  However, I cannot until I get my new set of rules down on (electronic) paper.

I am still only going to consume 2-300 calories per day Monday through Friday.

I still must consume only what I provide for myself.

Once I eat through my most recent set of purchased groceries, I will only consume the same set of things per day for the week.  For example, the first week of the month, I will only consume the same set of foods Monday through Friday.  Then the second week of the month, I will only consume the same set of foods Monday through Friday.  So on and so forth.  This will eliminate the spoiling of perishables as they waste away in my fridge and allow me to avoid the anxiety and confusion about what to pack for lunch each day.

I am only going to consume one thing per meal.  For example, an apple counts for breakfast.  A yogurt counts for lunch.  A bag of popcorn counts for dinner, etc.  The only time I will "double up" on food items is when I eat cottage cheese which I will accompany with cucumber or six slices of turkey which I can have either with mushrooms or artichoke hearts.  I will also try not to double up on a food group in any one given day.  For example, if I have a bread product for breakfast such as a rice cake, I must have either a dairy, fruit, or vegetable for lunch.  If I have a fruit for breakfast, I can have a bread product or dairy for lunch, etc.

I am going to start exercising twice daily.  An exercise DVD in the morning and jog on the treadmill at the gym for a half hour in the evenings.

Saturdays will be my binge/purge day where I allow myself a treat.  I am going to try to keep binge days to one food group (i.e. breakfast foods such as muffins and pancakes, sweets such as cheesecake, icecream, or cookies, "meals", or chip/snack items.

Sunday will be my "fast" day.  Therefore, I will make up for my Saturday binge and take laxatives Saturday night and shit my brains out Sunday to atone for my missteps and cleanse for the upcoming week.

To review....

Monday through Friday one food item per meal from a different food group which must equate to 2-300 calories.

Strength training routine in morning and cardio in evenings.

Saturday is binge/purge day.

Sunday is laxative/fast/cleansing day.

Now I can relax and rest easy. 

I am weighing in at 100.2 pounds tonight although this morning I was 97.7.  I think my scale is broken because I use it too often.  I'm not sure.  This weekend I did pretty good...Saturday no food.  Sunday a mushroom, a bite of a lavash wrap, pinch of cabbage, and today two skinny sugar-free lattes and a grilled chicken greek salad (I caved).  I think the fasting this weekend totally messed with my metabolism and has made me gain weight.  My weight loss has stalled and I am retaining everything, including water which has swelled my extremities.  I am so looking forward to beginning this week and sticking fast to my new rules.  This will surely hold me accountable, alleviate stress and anxiety, allow me to plan ahead, avoid deprivation, and lose weight.  My goal is to be 95 by the end of this week.  Wish me luck.

Oh, and no more coffee in the morning.  Only tea if I so desire something.  :)

Fasting...Faster!

As promised, I have taken three diet pills daily for the past two days and will continue to take them daily henceforth.  Saturday I jogged, today I did a Bob Harper DVD in my living room, and tomorrow I am going to do a Billy Blanks DVD.  I have given these exercises as much effort as I can muster.  I will admit that exercising daily is getting increasingly harder to do.  Maybe this is a result of my low energy levels from fasting over the course of the past couple of days and vomiting and shitting my brains out the days prior. Yesterday I fasted.  Consumed half a cup of black coffee, half a cup of tea, half a diet soda, and two pickles amounting to a whopping zero calories.  Dropped from 101.4 the night of my final binge to 98.6 pounds.  Problem is, I can't seem to get below this.  My weight is stagnant.   This is highly unusual as I drop anywhere from half a pound to a pound daily on average.  I am getting concerned.  However, I also notice that, ironically, you tend to drop less weight and at a slower pace when you are fasting.  It is as though your metabolism slows down and puts a halt to weight loss as a result of your body's starvation.  Therefore, I find that if you eat, even if it's two hundred calories a day, your body will lose weight faster and at a more constant rate as opposed to the periods of time when you are fasting.  However, I must punish myself for my binge.  Purging and overdoing it on the laxatives is no longer a reasonable enough punishment.  Fasting makes it an even worse penance for my sins, and I must make the punishments so horrid that I will try to avoid bingeing as much as possible as a result.  If there is no pain in the punishment, why avoid the undesireable behavior?  Today, I consumed two pickles (0 calories), a cup of tea (0 calories), and caved and ate one tablespoon of fat free cottage cheese, a mushroom with mustard, half of a half of a slice of turkey, a pinch of dried cabbage, and a bite of a lavash wrap.  This probably amounted to a total of around twenty calories, but I can't be sure.  I also crammed a bunch of sugar free cookies into my mouth but spit them out.  Therefore, I didn't do as good today, but I still consider myself to be doing pretty fucking good if I do say so myself.  Tomorrow, I will allow myself a coffee from Starbucks (I will look up nutritional information in advance so as to make a smart choice and plan ahead), no food.  That will basically be a three day fast minus my pickings and the coffee.  But I figure the coffee is still a liquid at least and doesn't count for food per se.

I will start up on 200 calories a day beginning on Tuesday and again, avoid any food that does not come out of my kitchen and my lunch bag.  I am hoping this jump from fasting to two hundred calories a day will jump start my metabolism and I will finally be able to kick this horrendous 98.6 into oblivion.  I feel disgustingly fat and think I look it as well.  Sigh.

As much as I loate and detest bingeing, I can't help planning my next one.  Below are all the foods I would like to consume at present:

1.  Girl Scout cookies.  Especially those chocolate coconut ones and the chocolate peanut butter ones.

2.  Cheesecake Factory cheesecake (any flavor)

3.  Any type of Chex mix or party trail mix.  (The chocolate/powdered sugar Chex mix served cold is to die for.)

4.  Chocolate chip pancakes and/or French toast slathered in butter and syrup.

5.  Toast loaded with butter and jam.

6.  Hot chocolate with whipped cream.

7.  Any type of Keebler Elf cookie.

8.  Celeste pizza.

9.  A Greek salad with grilled chicken, lots of feta, full fat dressing, and a pita pocket.

10.  Clam chowder in a bread bowl.

11.  Nachos loaded with cheese, guacamole, sour cream, salsa, black olives, jalapenos, and grilled chicken (maybe chili).

12.  Clam cakes with tartar sauce.

13.  Fried dough with powdered sugar.  Doughy not crunchy.

14.  Icecream of any flavor or a mixed Blizzard from Friendly's or Mcdonalds.

15.  McDonald's french fries and cheeseburgers.

16.  Pasta.

17.  Chicken Caesar salad.

18.  Stuffed mushrooms.

19.  Spinach artichoke dip with the multi colored tortilla chips.

20.  A pumpkin flavored muffin.

21.  A mudslide from Friday's.

22.  Baklavah.

23.  Spinach pies.

24.  Lamb with Greek rice.

Did I mention the Greek festival is coming up (not next weekend but the weekend after).  That gives me this week and next week to do as good as possible so I can enjoy myself at the festival and eat without purging (as I will be with my family and won't have an opportunity to do so).  I figure if I can make it through these next couple of weeks and do as good as possible, allow myself a normal meal at the Greek festival (this is all I will eat all day), and then go another two weeks, I will allow myself to go to Joe's restaurant and get the clam chowder in a bread bowl, with nachos, crab cakes, a pasta dinner, a caesar salad, and run to the Cheesecake for some more appetizers, cheesecake, and then hit up the grocery store from some chex mix and sweets.  I of course will purge after this and start the cycle anew.  My goal is to be 95 pounds by the end of this week.  I am nervous I will not get there because my weight loss has been so slow.  I am so pissed at myself I slipped on Thursday and Friday seeing as I was 97.4.  I could have allowed myself a nice treat on my birthday and still managed to be low.  I am such a weak, fat cow.  I am burning up right now and am not sure why.  God this sucks.